To Be Like Job: Rejecting Foundational Lies

There are so many crazy lies the enemy comes up with, but sometimes it is the truth that hurts the most. Someone recently said to me, “I have lost so much time being depressed and thinking about suicide, there is no reason to keep going.” I said the same thing once, many times actually. 

We all have foundational lies that we carry with us into adulthood. Some of the worse being, I am not good enough, I am not pretty enough, or smart enough to be successful. Some hold fast believing every word, while others recognize them as the lies they are. The enemy’s first weapon against us is tearing down our self image and making us question our God created attributes. He casts shadows of doubt and fear long before we even begin early development. Without proper support from our parents and other family members, we can begin to develop false lenses about ourselves. It's a trap that most of us step into while we are still young and vulnerable. At least I know I did. Covering up and disregarding childhood trauma can reinforce these lies and ultimately redirect the course of our life. As we go into adulthood, it is important to reevaluate any negative aspects we have about ourselves and ask Jesus what is true and what is not.

Ephesians 4:27 reminds us not to give the devil a foothold and we do that by believing his lies. It is hard not to continually look at the cracks and misshapes of our lives, whether they be past or present, but we cannot focus on Jesus at the same time. It is the foundational lies that we hold onto that will do the greatest damage in our present and future life. The devil himself, the prince of mischief and destruction is responsible for those negative thoughts and feelings about yourself. He is responsible for every single traumatic event you encountered. It does not matter if something happened because of a choice you made. The enemy was still the one orchestrating the event to happen. It is imperative in his plan of destruction to remind you of every bad thing that happened and every good thing you missed out on. 

I have felt for a long time that my life was just a waste. I had single handedly dismantled it in such a horrible way, the best thing to do was to throw it away for good. It seemed to be the simplest and easiest answer. Ask anyone who is considering committing suicide and they will most likely say the same thing. This is how I see the enemy working. He lays the foundational lies and then cascades trauma over and over again strengthening the brokenness of that foundation. The more time and access he has to you, the more damage and chaos he creates.

For me personally, it was not just the long list of trauma, but it was more about what I had missed out on that brought me to that forever decision of taking my life. But the foundational lies began when I was molestation at an early age. It built a thick foundation of lies including that I was not important enough to be protected both by God or my parents. I therefore could not be wanted or loved by either of them. That ultimately changed how I not only saw myself, but how I was able to interact with the world around me. I became so backwards and bashful as a kid I refused to play sports, attend Girl Scouts, or even go to a friend's house for a sleepover. I was just a little skinny hermit in her shell and no one was showing me anything different.

By my teens, the childhood lies were reinforced by things I was not allowed to do, like playing the saxophone or joining the writing program. It may seem silly, but I had no sweet sixteen party, which as a teenage girl I was so excited about. Isolated, they could have been just one hurtful lacking event, but it felt as though everything in life told me that those foundational lies were actually true. With my foundation perfectly solidified, I entered the dating years of my teens and young adulthood with broken lenses. The boys who would have been good for me I steered away from because I wasn’t good enough for them. And the ones who were not good for me, well, obviously I dated. I wholeheartedly believed I was with the only kind of people I could ever be with, unloving and abusive men. It opened the door for the enemy to usher in more trauma and abuse, being molested yet again and then raped. What started out as little foundational lies at age six, ultimately led to the destructive decisions I made as a teen and young adult. The devil had little work to do since I clung so hard to those lies. I dropped out of high school, had two failed marriages, and raised my daughter on my own. Nothing ever felt like it went right, whether it was by my own actions or not. Even when I did try to do something right, like attend college, other parts of my life interfered and left me feeling like I had failed yet again. I did graduate, but not with the degree I was focused on, not with the grades I could have had, and unfortunately I walked across the stage holding back tears after receiving bad news hours before the baccalaureate service. Even what should have been good memories were left tainted. I had no idea I was on an inevitable path of destruction, not because that was my life destiny, but because I believed every single foundational lie was true and all that followed. I was unloved. I was not really wanted. I was stupid and foolish. I was a bad mother, daughter, sister, and wife. I could not complete anything. I messed up everything. I ruined other people’s lives by just knowing them. I was an embarrassment to God and my family. And one of the biggest lies I held tightly too was that God had made a huge mistake when He created me. Maybe some of those resonate with you. Like myself, they are all untrue for you too. God does not make mistakes. He also does not create people He does not want and love. The enemy has been fighting for you. His lies sound like truth. They are smooth like butter, but bitter and raw to the taste.

I am reminded of a very wise and strong man in the Old Testament, Job. Job lost his family, belongings, and property. He suffered physical pain with sores head to toe. He was left with nothing. I have never understood Job, because instead of being angry at God like I was, he worshiped Him. The one thing I am sure of, Job did not believe the lies of the enemy.

Talking to my counselor one day, I decided to write down everything I believed about myself. I wanted to be able to see all of it together, the whole picture so to speak. What I wrote did not feel like lies. I read them still feeling the weight of their truth. I talked to my pastor about them, my counselor, and friends. I talked to Jesus about the “lies”. They showered me with the truth. I needed to hear the truth over and over again so I could pave a new foundation. I could only do that by allowing myself to be exposed to the truth. I had to hear it for myself and not just me telling myself in my own mind. Words are very powerful. I’ll be honest, it actually hurt to hear the truth at first. It made me angry and I wanted to withdraw, but I made the choice to keep going. That’s why I am so grateful for my pastor’s willingness to walk the parking lot with me a few years ago. It spoke a very important truth into my soul, I had value. I was important enough to be given that time and guidance. All of my friends that checked in on me were reinforcing the truth that I was wanted and loved. Maybe we just went to breakfast or a movie, but the simplest things we can do for one another in life can have the greatest impact against the enemy. Breakfast can break spiritual chains. Walking a trail can mend a broken heart. A card in the mail can shower someone with love and acceptance. But my greatest supporter has been Jesus. I know He has been by my side the whole time. Sometimes I couldn’t feel His presence, and sometimes I doubted Him, but He remained with me regardless. He does that for each one of us. He’s not leaving our side. And He’s certainly not intimidated by the enemy. Below is a mental health tool I found very helpful. I hope this post blesses you and reminds you of how important you truly are to God. Keep fighting against those lies by speaking truth over yourself every single day.