"Birthday Post"

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September is Suicide Prevention Month.


Well, today was my birthday. I can’t believe I have made it to forty-eight. Honestly, multiple times in my life I planned not to be here for this day, including just last month. God has been faithful, even when I did not want Him to be, and even when I hated Him. God knew deep below all that anger and hatred was a great love for Him. And even though for a while I turned to other things to be filled, He never gave up on me. He never walked away or said I was too unclean to be called His daughter. Because He has always known my heart and He knows my future. Thankfully nothing causes Him to waiver in His love for me. I can scream at Him, walk away, get angry, cry, and He just….loves. And this love is not reserved just for me. He loves you too. He cares about you regardless of your mistakes. You may feel like you are stuck in a deep spiral and can’t get out, but you can with God’s help. It will not happen overnight and it will take a lot of work. You will want to give up sometimes, but you have to keep fighting. You can’t do it alone either. Find some good christian friends that are willing to support you through this. Give them grace as they too learn their way through this. You are fighting the enemy and they are powerful too, just not as powerful as God. So stick with Him. Trust Him. Follow His lead.


Information on Suicide types, ACES test & Resiliency test:

(You can find the ACES and Resiliency test under the drop down menu on the left side.)

There are two different types of “I don’t want to live”. Often those who suffer from depression feel as though they don’t want to live anymore, but they do not desire to take their life. Those who suffer with suicidal ideation (SI) often have major depression with a desire to take their life. But there are stages to the SI. There can be brief moments when the SI is manageable. And then there are times when everything is spinning out of control and it is hard to come back down from it. My counselor shared a chart with me one day and as soon as I saw it I told him that was my SI scale. I had created a number scale a couple years ago to gauge where I was in the SI. For supporters of someone who struggles with SI/depression, this chart could possibly help you in determining how much danger your loved one is in. You can ask them questions based on the chart. It was hard to get this image, so you may need to google search it for a clearer image.


https://usabp.org/resources/Documents/ANS%20English%20HANDOUT%20TBRv2.pdf


Counselors often have clients take their ACES test to see where their trauma level is. The higher the number, the more trauma they experienced. Anything over a five is deemed high trauma. With that said, it is often expected these individuals may suffer from major depression, PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, and more. A high number increases the probability that they will attempt to take their life at some point. If an individual makes an attempt on their life, after each attempt, it increases the likelihood that they will try again and/or succeed. I tested 6 out of 10, which explains the long struggle I have had. In addition to the ACES test, it is suggested that clients take their resiliency test to see what skills they have learned in childhood to combat the trauma. The lower the number, the lower the resiliency they have. Again, this test measures 1-10 and I scored a 3. Many people struggling with suicidal thoughts have low resiliency scores and high trauma. This is why professional counseling is so important. Once you have taken the test, you have a much better understanding of why you are struggling. Finding a counselor can be hard. Sometimes you have to wade through the sea of counselors available to find the right fit. I am currently on my third counselor and he has been a great support to me. He happens to be a christian counselor which is an added bonus. I love that we can incorporate God into the healing process since I have a rocky foundation with Him in particular. I pray you find this information useful whether you are struggling or supporting someone who is.


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