Touching the Face of Jesus

Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays. Of course, when my daughter was growing up, it was even more special. Every parent enjoys watching the excitement in their child's eyes as they unwrap each unknown or unexpected gift. When my daughter was two years old she was sick all night on Christmas Eve. On Christmas morning she wasn’t in the best of moods. She sat in her little wood rocking chair with her arms crossed and head down. Her lip puckered out in anger. I tried to sweet talk her into opening a present. I had purchased toys I knew she would love. I had wrapped them up and put on a big bow. The stack of presents were all around her on either side, but she wasn’t budging. The rest of the family, myself included, went on opening our presents and listening to the Christmas music play in the background. Soon enough, the anger melted away and she was down on the floor ripping the paper off one package after another. I was not going to force her to receive the gifts I had bought. As her mother, I knew she was just tired from being up most of the night and maybe a little "hangry" too. We can all be like that at any age really, it just looks a little different as we grow older. Emotions can be powerful. Sometimes we don’t know what to do with them at the moment. I was not upset with her, nor disappointed or frustrated. I knew the anger was temporary, and that she knew I loved her anyway.

It reminds me of God and how He has good things for us, but we aren’t always ready to accept them or

even acknowledge their existence. Life is hard for all of us in some way or another. Sometimes we need

time to heal and process our feelings before we are able to receive any good gifts, especially from Him.

I went through a season not so long ago when I was angry too. Like my daughter that Christmas morning when she just wanted to be left alone, I wanted nothing to do with God. I didn't want Him or anything He had for me. As my anger grew with God, I started to question if any of it was real, including Jesus. I fought those thoughts because Jesus had saved me from myself more times than I could count. I even apologized to Jesus once for hating God so much, but He told me it was okay because it did not change how God felt about me. He said God had good things for me regardless and that He was just waiting for me to process the much needed healing in my heart. But then last year, when things started to get really spiritually dark for me, I started to seriously question the existence of Jesus. I was in so much turmoil it made me physically sick trying to figure out what I believed. Then one day Jesus appeared in my room. He told me that He would help me get through this season and asked me to give Him more time. He said He loved me no matter what. As He spoke though, my mind continued to swirl whether He was really real or not. I felt the urge to raise my hand to His face, but it seemed silly as I stood alone in my room potentially having a conversation with Jesus. Finally, with hesitation, I raised my hand to His face and laid it on His cheek. I felt His hair brush against the back of my hand and the warmth of His skin. “You are real.” I said softly. I started to feel ashamed for doubting in Him. He had been by my side my whole life. Immediately Jesus washed those feelings away and filled me with peace. I knew I would never doubt Him again. It took time, but that anger towards God started to diminish. I was finally starting to heal. Jesus really is the greatest gift God has ever given me, and you.

Jesus came to this world by choice, He didn't have to. He came vulnerable and weak as a newborn baby, dependent on an earthly mother and father who were young and scared. He was not born in a palace wrapped in purple satin cloth with a crown on His head. He was born into a common family living in a town that was disliked. He slept, ate, felt sick, sweat in the sun, shivered in the cold. He even danced, cried, probably put in time out at least once, laughed, went to church, and went to school. Jesus felt love, rejection, sadness, grief, joy, and all the other emotions we feel too. He was just like you and me, but also far from it because He was and always will be the Son of God. He lived His life as an example and died shedding His blood for all of us. I think when He stood next to His father, before even coming to earth, and He saw all the broken people across time, He never even considered for a moment not coming for us. The depressed, the abused, the rejected and abandoned, the suicidal, the lost and forgotten, He came for us all. He may have died and rose from the grave all those years ago, but He is still here every single day and in every single moment whether we are in a dark valley or a mountain top. And He does not stand off at a distance and wait for us to get ourselves together, no, He loves us too much for that.

Christmas reminds me of all the good gifts God has for us. We are surrounded by them whether we can see them or not. I pray this Christmas season more of us will not allow the emotions of hardship to cloud our vision. May we unfold our crossed arms and raise our heads to greet Jesus. He is the ultimate gift after all, our personal savior. I included a simple prayer of salvation below for anyone wanting to make a major life change you will never regret. Receiving Jesus into your heart is really that easy if you do honestly believe in Him. After accepting Him and repenting of your sin, it is important to find a good Bible based church that will teach you more about Him and your new life with Jesus. If you do not have a Bible already, I would suggest NIV, ESV, NASB, or NKJV. Just remember that asking Jesus into your life does not mean life will now be easy and perfect. We live in a world full of sin and darkness. As a child of God, we are the light "in that darkness". We don't escape it, we fight against it.

For those struggling with Mental Health, please remember that during the winter season, it can be hard on us. The days are shorter and darker. The weather is cold and unpredictable. The enemy will say God has abandoned us, and that is absolutely not true. Jesus is calling us to keep fighting. You can find warmth and love in Him, but it is a battle. We cannot sit back and do nothing to defend ourselves. Things like listening to worship music, reading the Bible, researching questions we have about being a Christian, socializing with Christian friends are all things we do to wage war against the enemy. Surround yourself with as many supporters you can find. And remember that emotions can lie sometimes. Below, look at "HALTS" to check in with yourself about how you are feeling this Christmas and winter season. It is often used for pre-destructive behavior, but can be used any time when you are feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or angry.

Merry Christmas and God bless!

Salvation Prayer:

Jesus, I repent of my sins and surrender my life to you. Wash me clean. I believe that you are the Son

of God and that you died on the cross for my sins. You rose on the third day for my victory. Thank you

Jesus for loving me, wanting me, and accepting me into your family.

Updated 12/22/23